The Night The Toilet Became Our Best Friend.

            The Night The Toilet Became Our Best Friend.
It was the night of nights,
You had a pocket full of ducats.
  A smile as long as the Mississippi River.
 What could go wrong?
 Your the person in charge tonight.
No one can tell you a thing, 
Drinks are on the house tonight, 
Who can out drink you? 
Anyone up to the challenge? 
That's what I thought,
Everyone who walks into your world tonight,
 now becomes your best friend, 
You speak like a poet tonight,
 a real Lord Byron you are, 
Perhaps the new Mary Shelley, 
doesn't matter you could talk a used car salesman,
 into buying your lemon in the parking lot with one headlight, 
Yea your the main man, or woman,
You tell all this night shall never end with you around,
 Flashing your money for all to see, 
people constantly coming up to you telling you how righteous of a person you are,
You take in the hype and give them a nod, 
Then all of a sudden things start to turn around on your night of pleasure,
 People now seem fake and plastic,
Your stomach turns with disgust,
 How  could this happen to a person of your stature? 
What happened to common sense?
What happened to your witty words that caused all to laugh? 
You want to jump in the first vehicle,
 or what ever just to get home quickly,
 so people cant see you lose you fluids to put it mildly, 
Your breakfast and lunch will be tasted again soon, 
This time it wont have the delicate tastes that you remember, 
It will now have a taste that will haunt you for at least a few days and nights,
The taste of regret and embassament,
Sickness is the word you didn't think of when you packed your pockets with lettuce,
 before skipping out the door and whistling a merry tune, 
Once in your home your lucky to have made it,
You should be spending the night in a ditch,or jail.
  Hell you lucky to be alive Louie the XIV ,
Once in the bathroom now all alone,
 you start to sing a tune to the porcelain receptacle,
A tune that only a true partier will know, 
To hear it would cause the listener to sing out the same tune,
 Curled up now your like a fetus in his mothers womb,
 I hear you whisper above a knocking neighbor asking if everything is alright?
Out of your lips and breath smelling like a gator,
O Toilet bowl, O Toilet bowl tonight  you are my only true friend.
You may ask how do I know your story of woe and excitement?
 Well my friends you and I are one of the same,
Now before some of you say I have never curled up for the night with a toilet,
 and whispered gently into the commode,
Well my friends what  unhappy and boring lives you must live.
For you haven't truly lived until you have at least one night
 When!

 The Night The Toilet Became Our Best Friend.
Steve.D.Hammond.
   

Taken on: April 5, 2011

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