October 2, 2023 Subverted Selfie Project Post (Be Your Own Beloved Edition)

DAY 2: OUR BODY, OUR BREATH

HOW DID FOCUSING ON SOME DEEP BREATHS FEEL FOR YOU AS YOU TOOK YOUR SELFIE? DID YOU NOTICE THE URGE TO HOLD YOUR BREATH?<

I think it's SO common for us to hold our breath in photos but that disconnects us from our body and enhances any anxiety in our body that might be coming up. How did focusing on the breath feel for you?

As I received my IV antibiotics therapy this afternoon I sat up with my hand resting on my chest. With my eyes closed, I breathed a long, slow breath in through my nose, which I held a few seconds before letting it go in a long, slow exhale through my mouth.

Breathe in… breathe out.

The air felt warm coming in through my mask, & even warmer as it escaped around my tongue which I kept planted firmly against the roof of my mouth.

Breathe in… breathe out.

It’s something I used to do with more regularity, usually at the start of a meditation, but it’s something I haven’t done in months. Maybe even in years.

Breathe in… breathe out.

Last week, Facebook reminded me how 2 years had passed since I was released from the mental health unit at Abbotsford Regional Hospital following a suicide attempt in my car that was parked in the driveway of my Mom’s. On the 1st day of my hospitalization I was confined on suicide watch, in an empty room save for a broken toilet in the corner, a plastic mattress on the floor, & a camera looking down at me. That afternoon I sat breathing, & reciting the Ho’Oponopono prayer again & again. Eventually, I started to sob. It was both cathartic & terrifying.

Breathe in… breathe out.

It was an easier habit to occupy during that hospitalization, without the trappings of a smart phone to mindlessly scroll through as you weren’t allowed to have them. Today took me back to those moments, moments I didn’t have during the hospitalization after my stroke, mainly because they don’t take your smart phone away after a stroke. Only after a mental collapse.

WHAT ARE SOME OTHER TOOLS FOR GROUNDING THAT YOU USE IN OTHER PARTS OF YOUR LIFE?

Ponder what tools or actions you take part in to get grounded. Maybe it's making a cup of tea. Maybe it is feeling your feet on the ground or doing mountain pose? Maybe it is noticing your senses. Or maybe it is a crystal you like to hold or a stone in your pocket that helps you get grounded. List them here! And then ponder...could we include some of these as part of our process this month? Could we make ourselves a cup of tea as we're reading the class activities and get grounded before we take our selfie? Or feel the ground beneath our feet before we pick up our camera?

Sometimes the bandages on my feet aren’t secure & they end up falling off. I then have to rewrap them, as I had done everyday since I hurt my foot in early July until I went to the ER on August 14. The act of treating the wounds myself was meditative. I’d sit in silence, gently rubbing medicated cream into my feet before wrapping gauze around the toes which I secured with medical grade first aid tape. These motions were meditative as my mind flowed to the present moment, only getting frustrated when the tape didn’t rip cleanly from the roll.

Breathe in… Breathe out.

(275/365).

This was originally posted on Instagram.

Today’s photo prompt and reflective journaling questions for today was a part of the BE YOUR OWN BELOVED photo workshop challenge which is run several times throughout the year by photographer VIVIENNE McMASTER. It’s well worth signing up for, and doing alongside other participants.

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Taken on: October 2, 2023

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Sets appears in: • ARTWORK: subverted selfies 2023 • ART COURSES: Be Your Own Beloved more » • ME: steveleenow « less

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Camera: Sony ZV-1, f/5.6, 1/30 sec, 9.4mm, ISO 800 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Sony ZV-1
Lens:	Sony 24-70mm F1.8-2.8
Aperture:	f/5.6
Exposure Time:	0.033 sec (1/30)
Focal Length:	9.4mm
ISO:	800
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Program AE
Exposure Mode:	Auto
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Color Space:	Uncalibrated
Software:	Instagram
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