March 3, 2022 Subverted Selfie Project Post

            March 3, 2022: Cleaning up and organizing my place and my Mom’s has been overwhelming at times. A large part of the mess that surrounds me has been fed by my addiction to over-spending, often beyond my means. It’s something I know I need to work on more seriously. It’s not that I can’t be responsible with my spending: when I was younger I was very obsessive with tracking every cent: I kept track of my receipts and spending in an excel workbook, and made sure I balanced out each month. I’d put a percentage of my each paycheque into a savings account, one that was locked down tight so the only way I could move money from it was to actually phone my bank and had it transferred out of the account. I was also Director of Finance at my university’s student union, where I assisted in overseeing a forensic audit conducted by PWC.

But since my depression settled in deeply over the last few years, I found myself digging myself in deeper and deeper with the spending. It’s just been so easy to do when you’re lying in bed, wanting to erase my troubles, my sorrows. Other people drink and do drugs. I eat way too much junk food, and spend like a drunken sailor. It’s caused

So today I emerge from the myst, finishing a deep clean of my Mother’s living room.

I’m finding more and more, that the comfort zones in this project and in my life have been to stick to the routines I’ve become accustomed to. That feel safe. Eating a bag of Reese’s and a large popcorn feels safe. Buying another stuffed animal I don’t really have space for feels safe. Cleaning feels scary because it’s a path to something in life I don’t remember. But it feels more freeing than being stuck where I have been up to this point. I want to say I’ve experienced something like this before, but I haven’t.

62/365.

 #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #startingover #selflove #selflovejourney #selflove #dailyselfie #dailywriting #subvertedselfies #subvertedselfie #art #photography #photo #windowcleaning #soulconfessions #tryingtogetbetter #selfie #subvertedselfie #instaselfie #selfloveisnotselfish #sad #depressed

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Taken in: Canada / British Columbia / Vancouver / Chinatown de Vancouver (show map)

Taken on: March 3, 2022

Tags:

selfie

self-portrait

portrayals of the self

portrait

Steve

Steven

Steven H. Lee

Steven Hanju Lee

Steve Lee

Steven Lee

steveleenow

steveleeart « less

Sets appears in: • ART COURSES: Be Your Own Beloved • ME: steveleenow more » • ARTWORK: subverted selfies 2022 « less

Groups appears in: • ! ART & PHOTOGRAPHY ! All artistic works welcome

Camera: Sony ILCE-7RM2, f/4.0, 1/60 sec, 35mm, ISO 1600 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Sony ILCE-7RM2
Lens:	Sony FE 24-70mm F4.0 ZA OSS
Aperture:	f/4.0
Exposure Time:	0.017 sec (1/60)
Focal Length:	35mm
ISO:	1600
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Program AE
Exposure Mode:	Auto
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Color Space:	Uncalibrated
Software:	Instagram
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