150. flower for you - a photo on Flickriver

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But I'll be no one's reading the description.

My daughter and I disagree on fashion. I don't think she has great taste for herself, but I realize that I don't have great taste for myself, either. At least not my current self.

As we're perusing the racks at Burlington, she said something about a shirt I picked out. It began, "Why do you always pick...?" I thought about it.

In the past year, maybe even two, I haven't picked out clothes that I love; I shop for what I think will look best on me. That is to say: I shop for the fat me. 

Oh, blah blah blah. Please don't share with me any of that "love your body" crap. As I told a friend recently, I DON'T love my body. It DOESN'T get me from here to there very well and hasn't for a long time. My back and hands are a mess (I can't write much more than a greeting card with a pen), my feet are numb, and I have grown an extra knuckle from arthritis in my middle finger. Appropriate finger. What my body looks like is something of a reflection of what it feels like. And it has felt sad most of the time. It misses running. It misses the Firm videos. 

If your body is sad, too, this flower is for you. You and I know it's not the media, not Abercumbie and Fuck, not Victoria's Secret, not airbrushed models. It's what happens when we sit. I don't compare myself with you. I compare myself with me.

If you are happy with your body, whether it's fat or thin or short or tall or medium everything, this flower is for you, too. 

But you're not going to convert me into one of those body lovers.

In my attic, burying my daughter's air conditioner, are three boxes of size 6 pants and shorts and medium tops and shirts. I want to go shopping there. The clothes—from J.Jill and J.Crew and Ann Taylor and South Moon Under and posh boutiques in Fenwick, Delaware—are my style and my taste, not what would suit a person with thirty extra pounds.

Needless to say, I came home from my excursion with some clothes made of gauze.

Taken on: June 1, 2013

Tags:

one a day

dahlia

flower

explwhored

explore

explwhore™ « less

Sets appears in: • One a Day (2013): a Journal, a Vitamin • flower power

Groups appears in: • in explore

Camera: Nikon D600, f/5.6, 1/1000 sec, 300mm, ISO 640 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Nikon D600
Lens:	70.0-300.0 mm f/4.0-5.6
Aperture:	f/5.6
Exposure Time:	0.001 sec (1/1000)
Focal Length:	300mm
ISO:	640
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Manual
Exposure Mode:	Manual
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Manual
Light Source:	Fine Weather
Gain Control:	Low gain up
Color Space:	sRGB
Software:	Adobe Photoshop CS5 Macintosh
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