Originally posted May 22nd, 2006
Wow, alright, I had spent a better part of the afternoon trying to compile a few coherent thoughts into something I could use as a blog, that might actually prove to be just slightly entertaining, and finally struck on a thought a few hours before quitting time, while having a conversation with a driver about my passed life as a semi professional musician (Thusly the ten year old pic of me back in the day, when hair still sprouted atop my head), and it seemed liked a good idea to me, as I'd never really talked much about my old, "I'm a rock star wanna be" days.
"However" Unbeknownst to me at the time, a few hours later, when my mind was churning it's hardest, and I was as distracted in thought as I could possibly get, I was going to find myself in what I guess you could only describe as a life altering experience. A moment so fragile and dire, that I felt I was going to be facing what would most certainly be my eminent demise...So I thought I'd write about that instead...And while maybe not so life altering, at the time, I was quit certain that I was going to die.
Ten minutes before quitting time, Steve's girl friend shows up in Dean "Fluffy" Halls pickem up truck, asking me if I had time to wash it (Why they call him "Fluffy", I'm not sure really. I thought he looked more like Santa Clause as opposed to Peter Cottontail myself, but each to their own I guess). Sure, I was more then happy to wash up the old rig, and with that I hustled out the door, and hopped into the pickem up truck, thinking nothing of it, and the curious if not concerned look she suddenly had dawned on her face.
Now you know from time to time, you find yourself in situations that most might characterize as unpleasant, or down right unsafe, and as such from time to time you might take a few minutes of your day to think about possible worst case scenarios. I tend to do this quit often. The "If this happened, what would I do?" thought, and we hope that if that worst case scenario were to ever arise that we would react in the wisest and most rational way. For the most part I have never been faced with one of these dreadful thoughts, but I'd like to think that if I were, I would pass. The problem with the particular situation that I was about to find myself in (Well to be honest I was already in it, I just didn't know it yet)...This was not one of though’s situations I'd ran through my head.
Not understanding the concerned look on her face, and noticing now that a few of my employee's are collecting at the front of the bays with much the same look of curious concern on their faces, I get an icy chill down my back, and finally cock my head to one side, looking towards the back seat.
There seated right behind me, I find much to my own dismay, quit possibly the largest God damn German Shepard I have ever seen in my entire life, and he is looking at me as though he were trying to decide which end of me he was gonna start chewing on first.
It's hard to tell just how big this beast really was at the time. From the near point blank range I was viewing the monstrosity from, and hindered by a sudden and complete lose of any rational thought at all, except the flash back of being mauled by my scout leaders German Shepard back in cub scouts, made it rather difficult to gage the animals exact size. So lets just settle on the definitive term "Big".
A very third hand like a hammer second passes, and as much as I would like to say I reacted in the most professional, almost all American hero like way possible, I didn't. Paralyzed with fear, would be more a descriptive way of describing myself in "the moment". Staring at him, staring at me.
Now it's not the first time I've ever had to deal with a dog. In the past I've on a few occasions made the mistake of trying to move a truck, that happened to be occupied by a dog. The biggest difference I could see between though’s occasions and this one, was that I had this amply heavy, and rather sturdy door, to slam shut, creating a rather significant barrier between myself and the dog. But now I'm naked, already seated in the vehicle, with the door shut. There is no barrier, there is no comfort zone. There is only me, him, and about three inches of stagnant air, separating us.
Terrified and speechless, there were several thoughts that could have, and should have been passing through my mind at that moment, now that I reflect, but at the time, there was only one legible enough for me to decipher.
"Huh. I didn't know Dean had a dog."
Well as it turned out, the dog didn't want to eat me after all, and was actually quit friendly. HUSHA! Static lives to write another boring blog. He was quit fond of playing in the water, and we enjoyed each others company while Dean's pickem up truck was washed.
Looking back on this now, I really have only one regret "What if the German Shepard had decided to eat me"?
"Damn, I wish I'd had a video camera." If I'd lived through it the video would have been hilarious.
Static
