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Self-portrait At Ocotillo Moons II
(November 8 th, 2020)
Terlingua, Texas, U.S.A.

After the first encounter last year, I returned there again. I had to because it was love at first sight. The desert is not a landscape that shouts. It whispers, inviting you to look closer. I think I found my place on Earth. The Chihuahuan desert, the largest desert in North America and the third most diverse in the world, is where I went for a 10-day road trip in November. It was a peak season, but I was able to find my solitude, rebuild harmony, and feed my soul. Aride and alive, the fascinating paradox about the Chihuahuan could be the metaphor of my poor existence in this world.

I took this mirrored self-portrait at my new place called 'Ocotillo Moons' where I moved to for next four days. It was a secluded luxuary barn sitting on 40 acres of beautiful desert landscape. It made me really sad seeing quite a comfortable lodging that I didn't expect with a spacious bathroom, a separate bedroom, a well equipped kitchen, a little rest area and an incredible covered patio. Even the refrigerator was giving natural water after pressing a proper button, or if you wanted potable water with glace straight to your cup! Gosh! All this made me feel bad and guilty. I started missing my Ghost Town Ruin where I stayed for the first three days, and all the hard work I had to do in order to wash dirty dishes, get potable water or a cup of tea. Such life makes you humble, and only this way you start understanding better the desert. Well, in fact, it was at Ocotillo Moons where I took two showers, my only ones during a 10-day road trip. Still, there was no a bathub, and everywhere I looked at, signs with conserving water, so I thought quite a bit before I decided to use it.

After a day or so of my stay there, I started slowly liking this place more and more. It's because I figured out its name, and fell in love with a new desert plant: ocotillo. It was so amazing looking at so many flourishing ocotillos surrounding the barn. To me they were like a synonyme of the essence of the Chihuahuan desert aride and alive. For most of the year the ocotillo appears devoid of life, but its dry, woody, thorny stems sprout small green leaves in spring and after heavy rains, followed by a cluster of bright red flowers.

I was able to take some self-portraits only twice at this place. First photoshoot was focused on ocotillos of course (sadly, I lost my mind dancing at the Golden Hour in the desert, and completely forgot to take a mirrored self-portrait for my project), the second one- on yucca trees. All these belong to the project "My Life Is a Picture" documenting my life.

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About the project:

I wish to look at myself in all reflected streets and places I will be passing by. These self-portraits are inspired by Vivian Maier's self-portraiture: www.vivianmaier.com

Taken on: December 9, 2020

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