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Self-portrait
(November 8th, 2019)
Terlingua, TX, U.S.A.

We stayed for two more days in the Big Bend at Jim's place called Casa de Creosote, a romantic studio style wooden cabin. The house was very secluded offering privacy and solitude being located on a 20 acre piece of land on Terlingua ranch with beautiful 360 degree views of the Christmas Mountains and Nine Point Mesa. There was also a beautiful wooden porch with hammock, and outdoor couch for stars watching. Jim was a musician, and built it as his creative space to make music and enjoy the Big Bend Region. We could meet him upon arrival as he gave us a short orientation. By the way, I was lucky enough to take a portrait of him; he even had his guitar in the car, and was kind to pose with it for me.

Yes, you don't check automatically into a desert lodging. First, you need to learn things about conserving water, electricity, safety etc., and indeed, staying at Jim's place felt like truly learning desert. The house was running on solar power energy and was able to run everything that was in the house including cieling fan, charge cellphones or computers (I could charge my camera battery without problem), but not much else. I couldn't for example plug in my hair dryer or anythign that got hot quickly. All of the water at the house was collected from the rare desert rain. Applying my moisturizing cream Hydra Zen by Lancôme on the face felt like a luxuary and a deadly sin at the same time in such conditions. There was a composting toilet using peat moss to cover your # business, solar shower set up, and ... two lovely cats Franky and Capitan, both looking alike. They were cute, and cuddly. Sadly, they hated each other like hell, and had the first bloody fight just after Jim left. I decided to keep them separated as much as I could so I don't have to worry about their wounds.

The first night was rather chilly, so we couldn't have an outdoor shower, but had quite a good experience with the composting toilet. I felt it was the right thing to do in the desert; all natural, no water waste. The only problem was using it late at night; you had to walk quite a distance through the desert to the toilet. During the day, Capitan was my buddy to assist me all the way there, so I wasn't feeling lonely. I am sure he would at night too, but I wasn't brave enough to go out at night... Franky instead was my "natural heater". I let her in, and she was simply sleeping on me. I knew at least that she was safe at night staying inside. Capitan didn't want to enter in the house.

I shot this picture outdoors on the porch the first day we arrived. It was getting colder and colder, and I was putting more and more clothes on. There was still enough daylight to take some more photos, but I was simply freezing, so gave up on this idea. The next day was very warm and sunny. After the afternoon hike, I was able to shoot freely for my project "My Life Is a Picture" as well as for "Skin-to-Skin: places I touched". I used my Pentax K3, and a Polaroid camera to capture that unique landscape, place and moments of my life. The desert felt very warm at the golden hour, I felt free and inspired to create, Capitan made me feel good by following me everywhere. I would say: little heaven on earth.

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About the project:

I wish to look at myself in all reflected streets and places I will be passing by. These self-portraits are inspired by Vivian Maier's self-portraiture: www.vivianmaier.com

Taken on: December 3, 2019

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