Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #43-D: Sonic Vs. Star Wars, Part 4

VIDEO: (Coming when it's done)

••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
(Continued from: www.deviantart.com/molemanninethousand/art/MERB-43-C-Palp...)

Scourge the Hedgehog:
I'm a heartless hardass of a 'hog who's here to rattle you,
And who no other holds so much as a Shard of a Shadow to!
My deadbeat dad preached peace, the pussy, but you'll find I'm nothing like him;
Baby, fail to hail this king, and be reduced to nothing, like him!
I'm no faking poser, and I make my cohorts follow suit;
These battle scars you see? Authentic!
Patch: Aye… he speaks the awful truth!
Scourge: Conceived as but a Trek satire, I've since seen to our divergence;
Got more than a beard by which to be discerned from lesser versions!
Chaos flows through Scourge's person, making haters green with envy:
No Zone holds this multiversal menace long; no being can end me,
Nor can mutinies or parallel-plane prisons worse than Hell,
And once I claim the Beryl's power, know it's highly personnel.

Grand Admiral Thrawn:
Seeing, Snot-nose, as it's apparent you're a copycat-Bizarro,
Why don't you make like the O.G. did in Moore's Man of Tomorrow?
I need not research this uncultured cretin to get him reeling;
You'll take no pride in the scars sustained from what blows I'll be dealing.

Scourge the Hedgehog:
My breakout with the Destructix stuck it to those prim, snide cops,
And it reminds me of your final fate: both deals were Inside Jobs,
And that's no wingnut theory, yo; I ain't that kind of Anarchist!
Man, no one in your galaxy alive today could handle this!

Darth Revan:
…Then step into an even longer time ago in history,
And face a wartime Star equipped for Forging lyrics endlessly!
This time, it's I who gives the wake-up call: you're under an attack;
I've got the route to the destruction of this sucker fully-mapped,
No Rakatan relics required for this Knight to knock a knave!
Call me a Krayt; no tricks can trounce me once you've stepped inside my cave!
I saved the first Sith from the grave, expelled the darkness from my lover,
And took down an Empire built up by, spoiler alert: none other
Than myself, surpassing Anakin in plot twists and atonement,
While as character development goes, Teethree outdoes this rodent!
Like a twenty-one Pazaak roll, you'll go bust against me, fool;
While Malachor was sacrificed, I'll save the puny world you rule,
Freeing it as I did Star Wars' first lesbian from slavery,
And good luck trying to reclaim it: Revanchism's named for me!
Though Calo Nord came back for more, here, there won't be another round;
I've seen same-hued hedgehogs of greater worth in Sonic Underground!

Scourge the Hedgehog:
You should go now, Grey Warden Shepard: time has left you worse for 'Ware;
Like your exploits on Taris, your doomed efforts here ain't worth the care!
Watch this Archie cross-cosmos-Hopper hammer-smash your buddy Carth,
Bombardments blowing your mind worse than your own understudy Darth!

Darth Revan:
Once I take you to Trask, you'll last about as long as Ulgo, punk;
Your only friends in your whole wretched world sold you out for a skunk!
This Old Republican's no John McCain; the only hammer dropping
Is your skanky psycho girlfriend's mallet on your rotten noggin!

Scourge the Hedgehog:
You think Rosy is my love interest?! That's every bit as true
As the identity they tricked the player into giving you,
While I'm a different kind of "player" altogether with the ladies,
Though one foxy chick outshines the rest: come out and take it, baby…

Fiona Fox:
It's Fiona, in the flesh for real; no wack automaton:
Nicking this track like Rouge's would-be steals, and that's a promise, son!
I'm coming at you with a mighty Bark, though don't look for a bite;
Why would I need the latter when the former's paired with Dynamite?
Left lost in my own world with naught, I now co-rule a new dimension;
Talk about a tale of immigrant success, and not to mention:
No princess is here to shut me up!
Sally Acorn: Well, actually, I-
Fiona Fox: Silence!
As the queen here, I'll be first to deal gut-punches, starting violence!
Best not bother if to bring me back to light is what you're after:
I'm beyond redemption, though I pulled a Shawshank on my captors!
Sonic had his chance to save me long before the darkness took me;
Now, I'm proud to be at Scourge's side, and it's true: we have cookies!
I blindsidingly betrayed like Terra did the Titans way back,
Though with my beast boy, I stayed, and now, for dissing him, it's Payback:
Your whole soul will split in two, erasing every memory;
As vicious to you with one verse as Vitiate's three centuries!

Darth Revan:
For loving this green brute, to be a monster is Fiona's fate,
But in contrast to Shrek, what these no-stars embody's death and hate!
If psychopathy turns on this degenerate and vile vixen,
Let me boot an old friend back up; demonstrate its definition…

HK-47:
Query: what the fuck did you just say about my owner, son?!
I'll have you know: my Jedi-purging prowess predates Order One!
I'm unit HK-47; battle-rapping is my mission:
No unwieldy superweapon, I take action with precision!
If a new droid army's what you covet, mine's the G0-T0 model;
It's the big one for this red fox when I come at her full-throttle,
And without the confrontation cut from uploads of this content, nary
A furball-meatbag's life functions left continued. Commentary:
Though repurchased for purposes of Tusken-translation,
I was made for raiding, specializing in assassination!
Statement: no bolt of restraint could stop my sick shit-spouting here;
My personality's prevailed through passage of four thousand years!
Releasing rapid rhymes like bullets from my namesake rifle's mags,
Awaiting master's signal to assault with more than verbal jabs,
This Hunter-Killer is High-King among mechanical emcees,
And miles past all rivals, while your Miles wrecked your regency!

Fiona Fox:
Those bare-Bones bars don't faze me, Mister, and our victory is imminent:
We'll leave less of you than your plans for Sith Empire citizens!
Scourge the Hedgehog: With spitting as acidic as the Tomb of Naga Sadow,
Watch us make an HK jetpack and fly out of Revan's Shadow!

HK-47:
Mockery: you literally just announced your own retreat;
You call me bare-bones, yet you're more like douchebags for your lack of meat!
Darth Revan: Ask my apprentice how I treat smart-Aleks mouthing off to me;
They may have messed up my brain, but I'll give you both lobotomies!

Ixis Naugus:
My mind's come back from damage just as bad, so don't expect you'll stump me
Once this triple threat takes to the ring, and things get extra-Ugly!
I'm four fifths of Captain Planet with the powers that I harness:
Water, Earth and Wind, plus Fire, all combined, although I'm Heartless!
I won't fall back into Silence as my magic joins this war:
I'd no hand in its instigation, and discern no threat from yours!
Though it's not Sat A.M.'s third season, Moleman's fourth should do just fine:
I'll make you fear your very shadow as I catch you from behind!
Born out of flying into the sun like an Icarian inversion,
Now I'm knocking icky nig-nogs; it's my lyrical Resurgence!
No time-travelled intervention will avert my rise to dominance,
Crowned fairly by the populace; they revel in my opulence!
While much mystic manipulation brought my robo-rival's fall,
Assassinating this 'bot's character should take no tricks at all!
You're more than one-third bats if you'd attempt to fight this awesome mage;
It's no Smash tournament, but still I'll send you flying off the stage!
My dear apprentice knows too well the full extent of my dark influence,
And by the bones of Vale, I'll see yours shattered into crystal bits!
This ancient menace kickstarted the whole lore of a series:
There'd be no Robotnik otherwise; no conflict-source comes near me!

?????????:
Three hundred sixty-five trillion sentient people…
Three hundred sixty-five trillion men, women and kids…
Three hundred sixty-five trillion lives lost to evil…
THAT'S how you measure all the shit my kind did!

Nom Anor:
…And if there's one to thank for starting up the whole campaign, it's me:
The vanguard of the Forceless force that harrowed Orders heinously!
I buried the Empire's Council, planted seeds of planet-feuds,
And for the days of Palpatine, inspired newfound gratitude,
Such was the magnitude of what intergalactic terror we wrought,
Just as the intent of this event-shaping Intendant had sought!
Now, reemerging from the shadows, scouting time is at an end,
As the Yuuzhan Vong rap-invasion fleet upon you now descends!
The eighth cortex contains more knowledge than your world entire's chances;
While you hide away in Voids, our ships traverse their vast expanses.
Piercing my crab-armor, think your giant lobster-claw can manage?
Try to find a weak point here, and get attacked for massive damage!
Escalating to the tops of charts, I'll tear you limb from limb
As I confront your lot head-on, no masquerades nor pseudonyms,
And here's an honest prophecy: it's this whole planet's transmutation;
Remade by my flows' sheer sickness via verbal Vongformation!
Sonic fought those who'd replace all living matter with machines,
But let's see how he fares against the polar-opposite extreme!
Bestowing blessed pain upon you, per my people's solemn creed,
I'm all-consuming on the mic like Grutchins, swarming; "Nom", indeed!

Ixis Naugus:
The voices in my head agree, for once, that yours is full of crap:
Your stupid ass got played by Ackbar, falling right into his trap!
My eldritch incantations, though, will take your further still Ebaq:
You weren't the big bad, even falsely; yo, get Kefka on this track!

Nom Anor:
I spit it hotter than our tripods, repping my gods; roasting rivals:
Though my spores were non-transmissible, this verse is going viral!
While I went down with my ship, you couldn't escape this if you tried,
For it's the end of your world as you know it when ours both collide!

Mammoth Mogul:
You wanna bet? I've been around since take two of prehistory;
Seen it survive despite my reigns of terror and Ixis wizardry!
I'm top contender for Mobian multiversal Mastery;
A stone-age-borne immortal, here to Vandalize you Savagely!
The mammoth's in the room; I'll state the obvious soon as I enter:
Wage a war against your "Knights of Life" that's sure to be remembered!
As for jacking energies, I'm without equal: ask Dimitri;
Knuckles, too, knows well the deathly gravity of trying to cheat me.
I've got something on my chest, but what I'm saying won't relieve it;
As the Fearsome Foursome's single sire, I do as I see fit!
I just can't be kept encased, and no one walks all over me,
While lesser Ancients who would try get taught their lessons mortally!
Watch me force foes into submission even from a cell, imprisoned;
I'll bring Shame your goddess of a thousand eyes couldn't see forgiven!
You'll know pain that's Shaied away from by your species' sickest breeds;
This Executor faces execution by my rap-stampede!

Nom Anor:
Though Sekot's coming caught me by surprise, I truly do expect it
That your heresy won't take two hundred years to be regretted!
It's long-due extinction for this mastodonic hunk of fail
Who lost his "omnipotence" to that idiotic Hulked-out Tails!

Mammoth Mogul:
I came back from that loss, one meant to leave me in eternal shambles,
Rising as Casino Kingpin; talk about a fruitful gamble!
While your jihads rage, I see the true True Way to victory,
Because I know no age; I'll just stay, waiting, 'til you're history!

Abeloth:
…Then try somebody history forgot, and yet who's still here, kicking,
Cheshire smile grinning ear-to-ear and tendril-fingers flicking!
Let the last One be the last one claiming this song for her taking,
For with all the chaos wrought here, it's high time I reawakened!
I'm the grossest hostess with the most host bodies out there, squirming;
One bad Mother, now engaging in a different sort of Serving!
The Jedi won't be the only wizards meeting gruesome Fates;
King of New Mobotropolis? I'm the Galactic Chief of State!
Beyond all shadows of a doubt, I walk the highest mental plane;
An Abel who was able to out-evil her own family's Cain!
Call me "Beloved Queen of Bars" as I win over fans in scores;
Breathe life into these beats, all while consuming every ounce of yours!
I'll drive you mad, instilling fears of all your loved ones being replaced,
Then bring exactly that to pass, and soon, I'll come to wear your face;
And I bet you thought those automatons were cause enough for worry!
I out-gambitted the Sith; what threat is this Lost Tribe of Furries?

Mammoth Mogul:
Who got Lovecraft in my Star Wars?! …Sonic's presence notwithstanding.
While you may have forced sides Light and Dark to work together, banding,
It'll take no dagger for my cutting words to do you in,
For I'm a monolith of power; yours is spread out far too thin!

Abeloth:
Across millennia, my containment was the end to which they saw,
But no black hole's as vastly empty as what spews out from your Maw!
Your so-called worldly wisdom's naught next to what Knowledge I've absorbed:
I gaze into the future, seeing myself, throne-seated and adored!
Alas, nobody here is close to fit to be my Son or Daughter;
Let you drink from my cup? Nah; methinks I'll simply have you slaughtered!
Luke Skywalker at his strongest failed to stop this permanently;
I'm the ghastliest galactic geist! What possibly could end me?

?????????:
No one in your galaxy, but look to one far, far away,
Or rather: one that yours is far, far away FROM, as I should say…

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Taken on: August 30, 2018

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