Confession - a photo on Flickriver

Confession

I ,a shy and quiet boy since young, was a target of the bullied throughout my 8 years of childhood. The memories of being bullied continuously have had a little or more effect on my confidence and activeness. I shut myself off from the society, claimed myself a weak person and brought myself with a gloomy, tired and scary look.

I’ve never believed in myself…

I came to photography when my dad lent me his camera when I was 6. From the first clicks, I already felt "this is where I belong". Photography helps me recreating the world seen through my eyes and felt by my soul, helps me remembering faces, smiles, memories of a passing time. And it even reminds of the things which are supposed to be forgotten.
I chose dark art because dark art is a fine illustration of the world I am seeing - a world of melancholy and sadness. Through dark art, I can dig deep into the darkest place of a human, right there, people are living in the own nature: weak, crazy and also vulnerable. Being an introvert person, dark art is also a way of relieving the soul, showing people who I am, what I am and what I’m capable of - something that I rarely share with anybody. As a result, I became more open with everyone, gave more laughs and talked more to the people around me. "You look way more better then?" - my friends said in satisfaction.

I never stop doubting myself ...

I’ve been reeling from my "what should I do" and "I’m not good enough" thinkings, which makes me deviate from my original path. Always wish to be like other photographer pals: big relationships, big interacts and having a support team while I am alone all the time,… I gradually forget that I’ve lost myself, forgotten that my path was different from all of them. I am an independent existence, I exist uniquely and I should’ve not been anyone’s copy. It’s been a difficult time right now, I was once again separated myself from everyone, even the ones I love so much. Always bringing suspense and fear of any situations. And even when writing these words, those emotions are making my hands shake and my heart beats so fast.
I know that there aren’t any obstacles that cannot be overcome if I dare to face, and I know that nothing can stop me if I truly believe that I can do it in my heart. However, "How?", "How can I really believe in myself?”, "How can I become more confidence?", "How can I make this? "How can I do that ...?", “How…?”, “How…?” and "How ...?". I’ve spent a great deal of time resting, thinking and rearranging things that were still unfinished. Those fears are still here, those thoughts are still here, and the answer I still cannot find out but at least this time I will try, something at least makes me feel better. And I hope someday I can find my own answer and be happy with it.
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Jun
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Taken in: Vietnam / Ho Chi Minh / Thành Phố Hồ Chí Minh (show map)

Taken on: July 17, 2017

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Sets appears in: • It Begins Again

Groups appears in: • Black and White • Bitter Soul more » • States of Consciousness • Dystopia • macabre art • Silhouettes & Shadows • alternative photography process • Undiscovered Genius • ... my dark side ... • Silentium • *psycho international* • Art Evokes Emotion • Alternate Realities: Surreal & Mystical Images • excellent Images • !Art and Photography (seriously18+) INVITE ONLY • Digital Art - Taiwan 台北數位攝影藝術 • For The Culture • little doors to elsewhere... [please read the group focus topic] • darkclub • artland • * * * Art&Digital Virtual Gallery Adm. Invited Images Only P1/C3 • # # # EXOTIC IMAGE (ADM. INVITE) post 1, comment 1. • The Last Romantics • Are you dreaming my memory ? • RD Laing - revisited / admin invite / 18+ • ≈ monochrome ≈ • International Amateurs Photos (Invite Only) • enigmatic nudes • *Whispering Soul* • dYrk wYst aRt seLects • JURIED EXHIBITION - P1-A2 • V's Choice Art Nude • Obscure Naturalis Art • Spirit of the Land • NET@ART Artistic Virtual Space II (post 1 comment 1) • ~ The Art of Meddling ~ (by invite) • PRO★DIGI • Best Friends Photographer - INVITATION ONLY - • nibble art • (un)usual • ₪ GAGA 4 ARTS ₪ Please Award 2 Photos! • Universal Art • ~VISIONARIA~ • The §hadow Of Our §oul • Best Of... Artistic Nudes (INVITE ONLY) • Best Of... Black and White or Monochrome. (INVITATION ONLY) • Emphoka.com - International Collective of Emerging Photographers • Black & White Sensuality (INVITE ONLY). • Des pieds et des mains pour des pieds. • Eclectica unbound. • PoetrySpace Young artist, poet and author submissions • ⠂1 ⠂ONE ᐧIᐧ UN ㊀ ῈΝΑΣ ᐧ۱ᐧ JEDAN ᐧﬡᐧ • Introvert Photographers Club • ㋡ flickr ○● DEPOT ㋡ • Worlds Of Thrylium - NO SECOND LIFE • expressionismo iconoclasta • ｼ ◆◇ BLACK+WHITE World ☻☺ CRNO-BIJELI svijet △▼ • ₪ Portraits PEOPLE Pictures ₪ • ㋡ YᴀʜᴏＯ! ⦿_⦿ Ｕ２丫？ • ARTBWBTRA - ART IN BLACK AND WHITE - SELECTIVE COLOR - MONOTONE • Specialistz™ • ₪ LOVE ❥ is ALL we ❥ NEED ₪ [Award 2] • _Atoms_ • Morphō/teller • a strong nude narration • ₪ kre-ART-ive ·⸎· lab-ART-ory ₪ • Thou Art Thy Art • ₪ DÉJÀ-VU 見 SEEN AGAIN 曾 ṾẸĆ ṾḷĐẸṆỌ ₪ • ㋡ LUDI FOTO LOCO ⍨ PHOTO CRAZY PHOTO ㋡ • Pro Human - Pro Mensch - • MakeLove☮NotWar « less

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